I also understand how you feel. The human need to seek shelter away from a fast moving, changing world when one has been “left behind” can indeed blossom into an unquenchable thirst during moments of prolonged solitude. Although for me, this period was triggered by different stimuli ( I didn’t lose a job, I lost my health…after I lost someone VERY important to me) I have handled it in much of the same ways. I have no advice to give you as I am just now coming to a surface you’ve already familiarized yourself with…I just recently started drinking beer…and watching movies…before I wouldn’t even do that. But, I do want to say thank you for writing this…and while your position in the “American Dream” and meritocracy might not be a buoyant one, I believe there are bigger universal forces present, and because of this, the buoyancy of your life’s purpose cannot be contested and will be realized and enjoyed fully in time.

I may even see you on the cover of Oprah

For what it’s worth I hit a spot like this when I was living in Washington. The weather certainly didn’t help my attitude either, but as it turned it’s one of those things where you might not belong there to begin with. I now live outside Vegas and am quite contented with my life now. Everything runs in cycles.